


depravity

by konohasthot



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Delusions, F/M, Gross, Intrusive Thoughts, Obsessive Behavior, Violent Thoughts, Yandere, incel tsukishima kei, incel yamaguchi tadashi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:34:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28336248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/konohasthot/pseuds/konohasthot
Summary: tsukishima feels most himself around you
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 26





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> <3 tsukishima’s intrusive thoughts be like rape the girl that sits next to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i really tried to get into character here ok so it’s kinda long but gets really graphic.

tsukishima kei was never big on relationships- in any aspect- whether it was friendships, family, or even romantic ones. his only friend has been yamaguchi tadashi, only because no one was able to last around him.

‘i’m just better than them’ was the excuse he’d give himself. he knew deep down, it was true. no one could possibly keep up with his revolutionary ideas, guys who have no brains for ability to think deeper about the world around them. it was sad, in all honesty.

he never talked to his mom, only for necessities or the limited greetings and goodbyes whenever he left and came from school. even before his brother went to college, they were never able to have brotherly-bonding moments or shit like that. not that he wanted to talk to that self-righteous frat boy who’s only validation comes from fucking the new girls at college.

tsukishima only had yamaguchi, he was the only other person he could confide in.

“have you seen the girl that transferred to our class?” yamaguchi’s eyes were wide, holding up his phone to tsukishima’s face. the screen had grease and smudges all over it. 

on screen was some girl, in the karasuno uniform. she would’ve been cute if it wasn’t for the obnoxious posing and cutesy filter, skirt too many inches higher than what was allowed. 

“looks like a bitch,” tsukishima curled his lip, turning his attention back to his computer, typing away at the keyboard loudly.

_shut up stupid bitch play healer if you want to be helpful_

“she’s coming to our class? how do you even know?” tsukishima raised an eyebrow.

“just overheard some people talking about her, her name is y/n l/n.” yamaguchi answered back, trying to wipe down his phone with his sleeve.

“so you just found her on instagram?” tsukishima snorted.

“yeah,” yamaguchi snickered. “had to see what the fuss was about. she’s kinda cute, right?”

tsukishima slammed his mouse into the desk, spewing out a slew of curses. he turned back to yamaguchi as he waited to respawn. 

“you know how girls are, especially ones like that. she probably thinks she’s hot shit for being in the advanced class now,” tsukishima scoffed. 

“but once she sees our superiority...” yamaguchi rubbed his hands together.

“gross, yamaguchi,” tsukishima shook his head, looking at his hands. “but you’re right, once she does, she’ll be begging to be by our sides.” he smirked, going back to the game once more. yamaguchi sighed, secretly screenshotting a few pictures.

yamaguchi’s beliefs didn’t entirely line up with his best friend’s- sure, women were bitches who see guys like him and think that he’s just some gross nerdy guy who spends all his time browsing online forums and fantasizing about the girls around him- but he didn’t believe that they should all drop dead or just be raped into submission. you weren’t going to get anywhere by being aggressive, he would know after all those failed miserable attempts at talking with yachi during practice. 

tsukishima went into graphic detail about how he could murder each of his female classmates, just because they were women with the nerve to have brains. how he should've dug his pen into his (female) math teachers eye for embarrassingly correcting his work in front of the whole class. how he should've pushed those group of girls that were so obviously whispering about him and his friend down the stairs. tsukishima has never had good experience with females, but it was all their fault. he was much better looking than yamaguchi, tall, smartest in (probably) his whole grade; hell, he even played a sport. maybe something like basketball would’ve been more attractive, but the fact that he should be doing more just to please some bitch he wasn’t even interested inproved the fact that women were the problem of society.

so when he came to school the next day, and that pretty face and legs clad in knee-high socks crossed under your desk was sitting right next to him, he was locked within his mind for a while. you introduced yourself to him- even prompted for his name. a girl has never done this to him just because she sat next to him.

“t-tsukishima. kei.” his short nails dug deep into the meat of his palm as that pathetic stutter replayed in his head. you smiled at him, that fucking smile, he couldn’t tell if it was somehow genuine or just another fake obligatory nice-girl smile.

either way, he still found himself imagining him doing vile things to you. you were only being nice because you wanted something out of it, no other possible reason.

and so you continued to give him that small-talk shit almost every day, he watched you become friends with the rest of the class rather quickly. he watched you gain confidence answering questions and leading the class, he watched you when you posted online too. he even offered some pictures and interactions to his starved internet friends.

 _you could fuck her if you really wanted, looks like she needs the validation_  
_rape her, megane10_  
_what school is this?_

tsukishima eyed the last comment, he did you the favor of blocking out any identifiable information. he didn’t have to- he could’ve let the sick fucks that roam these boards come and find you on their own- it was only because it risked his own safety. he named himself megane for fucks sake, he regretted it in hindsight.

he took into mind the other suggestions, but god he didn’t expect it to be this hard.

“so what are you into?” he practiced the interaction like a psychopath in his bathroom mirror the morning prior. you hummed to yourself in thought, tapping your chin.

“well, i like to hang out with my friends, i guess.” you giggled, high pitched and obnoxious. what a boring answer, he tried not to show it on his face.

“how’d you get placed into the advanced class?” 

“i’m obviously there for a reason,” you had a teasing edge to your voice. “i was the highest scoring in the other class, so they thought i’d be a better fit here.”

he nodded, in reality still not caring enough, he was just trying to eat his lunch. the conversation continued to his demise, asking him questions now.

“what’s your favorite subject?” you leaned a bit forward, elbows on your desk as you listened to his every word. you were so very, very obnoxious. why were you doing this? he noticed the line of your boobs pressed together peeking from the top of the white button up, is that why you were doing this? he didn't know whether to be flattered or absolutely repulsed by you. 

“i’m good at everything,” he tapped at his phone. “but i do like history.”

“ooh, that’s cool!” you clapped your hands together, and he glanced up at you. he wanted to tie your hands together until the circulation was cut off and- “i’m pretty average, but i’m apart of the debate club and enjoy discussing about world issues.”

“world issues?” he really shouldn’t have asked.

“i’m very passionate about women’s rights and lgbt rights-“ he could almost feel his eyes rolling backwards and fall inside his skull. you’re a fucking feminist. he didn't really have opinions of gay people, he wasn't one himself so he didn't really pay attention to those matters. hell, sometimes he wondered if yamaguchi was fully straight, and they were still friends. but did tsukishima kei despise feminists.

nonetheless he let you continue your pointless ramblings, nodding and humming occasionally to feign attention to you. his thoughts were running wild, your feminism wouldn't matter with a knife dug deep into your stomach. if you wanted true equality, you wouldn't mind if he beat your face in, right? he would love to see you try to fight against him, scared for your life-

"oh my gosh, i've been talking way too much!" you giggled loudly again, slapping a hand on top of his. your thumb brushed ever so slightly against his knuckles, prominent and protruding from his skin. you were much softer than he was. "you can just tell me to stop, i don't want to bore you!"

you touched his hand. albeit playfully, you _touched_ him. 

"you're fine." he spat out quickly, curling his fingers into his palm. you quickly pulled your hand away, smile faltering. shit, did you think he was uncomfortable?

...wait, were you thinking light of him? holy shit you touched him.

"well, i have to go see a teacher." tsukishima quickly made up some excuse to leave. he stood up so quick he forgot to push out his chair, awkwardly bending his knees and adjusting himself before stepping out from behind his desk.

"oh, ok... see you later, tsukishima!" you called out to him, giving a small parting wave as he threw out his trash and beelined for the class door. he just stood to the side, back against the wall. his mouth was dry, tongue desperately trying to wet the roof of his mouth. he could taste his own teeth. was he gonna throw up? oh fuck, you said his name, you said his name in that voice of yours and he was already running towards the bathroom.

"oi, tsukishima!" 

"hello tanaka." tsukishima nodded his head quickly, running into the second year. the interaction needed to end quicker than it began, or else he knows it'll get worse.

"ohoho, you actually can speak! first-years on lunch break?" tanaka tilted his head, grinning. tsukishima nodded again, standing in front of one of the mirrors. he turned on some cold water, cupping his hands together to fill it up and splash across his face.

"whatcha doin in here?" 

tsukishima shot a glare to his teammate, and he laughed loudly.

"my bad my bad, i guess even nerds gotta take shits!" tanaka hollered, finally taking his leave and going to do whatever the hell tanaka does. tsukishima grit his teeth, gripping onto the sides of the sink. what the hell did that even mean? of course humans need to use the bathroom, but that wasn't why he was here. thankfully tanaka's annoying presence killed his growing boner.

what a low-life he truly was, getting hard over something like holding someone's hand. well, he didn't hold your hand, but it was so close, skin-on-skin contact-

"fuck." he groaned, slipping into a stall and shutting the door. 

and when he got home, he shut his door, and locked it. he knew his mom would never come up to his room, but you could never be to careful. he sat at his desk and opened his computer, a few tabs open. homework, his online board, your social media pages, some project that was due on friday. he instantly started to look at your pictures, skipping past those god awful info-graphs about minorities or whatever bullshit was trending. his fingers played with the string of his sweatpants, the screen reflecting on his glasses.

his eyes fluttered closed when he finally slipped his hand in his pants, palming his half-hard dick. he thought about your voice, imagining what it would sound like if he touched you, fucked you like he so desperately wanted. it wasn't that crazy of an idea- you were obviously interested in him. the touches, the cleavage, it all had to be on purpose. he bit his lip, leg twitching as he doubled over himself. he came in his pants with a choked gasp, lips separating from each other. unless you were just trying to get something from him; then he wouldn't fuck you gently and hold your hand. he would hold a knife to your throat and force you to ride him, show you what happens when you try to use men. 

he came again.

he sighed deeply, wiping off his hand and connecting fingers with a tissue. in the back of his head somewhere, there was a small voice that hoped you weren't just using him. that you were just being nice.

///

"are you understanding everything?" he whispered to you when he finally caught your attention during class. you gave him a smile, the smile you use with him. only him. his smile.

"yep! i'm fine, thank you!" 

that irked him.

"it's okay if you don't, it's a hard topic."

"i'm fine tsukishima, really."

shit, was he fucking up? no, no, you just needed to take a hint already. 

"y-you can come by my place if you want, to study for the unit test. or yours, if you'd rather that." he blurted out. the scene hadn't gone exactly as he planned in his head, you were supposed to be a little more clueless and in need of help, but he remembered that some women liked to conceal how they actually felt. it's okay, he could guide you.

you raised an eyebrow at him, then snickered into your hand. he gulped, clenching his pencil tightly. was this some kind of fucking joke to you?

"if you wanted to ask me out on a date, that's all you had to ask." you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, shrugging your shoulders near your ears, smiling for him again.

“no it’s not a d-date, um...” holy shit he’s being so stupid, he should’ve just kept it at that. but he hated when people assumed things about him. instead, you just placed your phone on his desk. he stared at it, this is the object you hold nearly every hour of the day. it’s been in your room, in your hands, in the pocket of your skirt, everywhere with you.

“put your number in, stupid.” you tapped the desk, and he coughed into his hand, picking up the phone. he took his chance, looking through your personal photos and any secret accounts you may have. “done yet?”

“s-sorry, i messed up... let me just...” he muttered, looking through your contacts for any familiar names but then finally settling to type in his number. he gulped down his beating heart and handed it back to you.

“ok, i’ll text you tonight!” 

he nodded curtly, biting the inside of his lip. he played with his fingers in his lap, trying so desperately not to look at you. he didn’t see anything entirely black-mail worthy, but maybe you just had a secret folder. what were you hiding from him? 

the next night, you planned to come over. tsukishima's mom was out working and his brother wasn’t due to come home until spring break. he sat on the stairs next to the front door, leg shaking violently. he cleaned up his room, changed his clothes, even took a proper shower, all for you. 

the knock soon came, light and gentle against the wooden door. he stood up, waited a few seconds, then went up to the door and opened it. he was hit with your aroma: sweet with a hint of vanilla. you had casual clothes on, thin black tights underneath a skirt and a large coat over a simple low cut white shirt. 

“hey! thank you for having me right after school!” you grinned, slipping off your shoes and stepping into his house. 

oh fuck you were in his house. his hands clenched in the pocket of his hoodie.

“we can go up to my room, my moms not home.” he noticed you looking around for anyone else, clutching at the straps of your backpack. you looked a bit surprised, but still followed him upstairs.

his room was simple and barren; a bed, dresser, and a desk.

“you don’t have a console or anything?” you mused, setting your things down and leaning over to unzip the bag and get your work. tsukishima cursed his height for the first time, wishing he could flip up your skirt and push you down on the ground- he shook his head, he had a question to answer.

“uh no, i mean, i used to have one but i don’t play anymore.” wasn't a total lie at least.

“aww, we could’ve played after we were done working.” you pouted, and he scoffed, smirking.

“what do you possibly play?” 

“uh, lots of things,” you crossed your arms, notebook in your arms and pressing against your chest. “my cousin brings a lot of american games to my house, but i play the classics too.”

“what? mario or something?” he chuckled, he could picture you struggling to play some fps game on the couch of his living room.

“no, i used to be really good at call of duty and i play overwatch on my friends pc! don’t underestimate me, nerd.” you stuck your tongue out playfully, and he licked his lips. “anyway, where can i sit down?”

“i guess on the bed, d-do you want anything to drink?” he scratched the back of his neck, burying his nose into his hoodie. you nodded cutely, taking a seat on his bed, right next to where he lays his head.

“water is fine, thank you.” 

he headed downstairs quickly, scrambling to find some nice glass cups. he only ever drank out of the same plastic dinosaur cup he’s had since he was a kid, the print fading away. his head filled with different scenarios- most of them surprisingly tame and even... domestic. where he would spill water on you, and he would get an eyeful on what was under the shirt you wore, but then you would have to wear one of his much larger shirts... you accidentally drinking out of his cup and indirectly kissing him... kissing you... slamming the glass cup repeatedly into your face as you cry out...

there it was again, his brain always had to ruin something. he always had these violent, intrusive thoughts, but for once he wanted something normal. he had a chance with you, he was sure of it. you were this fucking interested in him, he wouldn’t be surprised if you would be on your knees for him soon. 

his grip on the glasses made them shake, walking carefully up the stairs to make sure nothing spilled. he smiled to himself, gulping. this was the first time he was feeling this- what was this? did he just want to hurt you really bad? no, was it... attraction? maybe even love? yeah, that sounded right. this is the love he’s been seeking since he was 13, love that yamaguchi has been so desperately trying to achieve, love that his online community would never experience. he was so lucky, you were so lucky...!

“tsukishima, what the fuck is this shit?”

he felt his soul leave his body, breaking out into a cold sweat and hands shaking even harder. you were on his computer, did he open it? he forgot if he did.

“what?” his voice cracked.

“why the fuck do you have my pictures, what are all these tabs? are you posting me on- holy shit.”

he knew that page, those paragraphs of text, and you were reading it. eyes scanning across the screen quickly. he started to panic, that voice in his head screaming at him. he needed to move, to stop you from seeing the things he’s said. they were the past him, when he was childish, he didn’t know about what you did to him.

he loved you.

“you’re a fucking creep,” you laughed, stepping back from the computer like it was a disease, wiping your hands on your thighs. “i need to leave.”

he splashed the water into your face, watching you sputter and spit out the water that went into your mouth. you wiped your eyes, lashes wet and a couple droplets falling down your face.

“what is your fucking problem?!” you yelled, pushing your hands against his chest. you pushed past him, grabbing your jacket and stuffing your things back into the bag. you continued to curse underneath your breath, were you really gonna leave him like this? after one mistake, one misunderstanding? 

girls were all the same.

he threw the first glass, missing your head by mere inches and shattering against the wall. you turned around, even more angry. he dove at you, slamming the other one against the side of your head. your scream was therapeutic, tsukishima’s fantasies had finally been fulfilled. all those years of just thinking about hurting someone, it was finally happening. you allowed him to break out of his cycle of holding himself back for the sake of others.

the glass shattered too, shards sticking into your skin and blood dripping down your face. you were crying now, slapping against his chest. this was the best he’s ever felt.

he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, teeth clanking against each other and his tongue prodding around aimlessly. he pulled his head back when you bit him, holding his mouth tightly. the throbbing pain shot through his tongue, screwing his eyes closed tightly and rocking back and forth on top of you.

he panted, holding your head down by your forehead with one hand, gripping your jaw with the other. your cheeks were wet with tears, making it hard to have a good grip. “open up, you fucking bitch.”

you resisted, shaking your head and clawing at his arms. he pressed his knee into your stomach, slowly increasing pressure until you finally opened your mouth to scream. he dug his fingers into your mouth, nails digging into the back of your tongue and scraping down the length. he pried it open further by pulling down your lower jaw, letting his bloody spit slowly trickle down onto your exposed tongue.

you watched disgustingly as it dripped down, mixing with your own saliva. that’s all you would ever see him as- disgusting. a disgusting monster, so that’s what he would be. he’d give you what you want.

he ripped open your tights, fighting against your kicks with little effort, pulling down your skirt.

“you wore this tiny skirt, but you’re still fighting me?” he chuckled, throwing it behind him and pushing your legs against your chest. you just cried, looking at your bloody hands and touching the side of your head.

the hole in your tights were beyond repair, exposing your panties, which tsukishima found adorable. strawberry print, he loved strawberries. he pressed his face into your cunt, breathing in deeply. he moaned, gripping your thighs with bruising strength. 

“stop it,” he heard you wail, squeezing your thighs together. 

“you know me so well, y/n,” he slithered up your body to paw at your chest. he slid a cold, bloodied hand under your shirt and lifted it up. “matching bra... you’re so cute.” he grinned, grabbing your boobs and squeezing. you threw your head to the uninjured side, gritting your teeth. he pulled down the pink bra, suckling at your nipples like a child. he moved to the other one, circling his tongue around before biting down into the soft skin.

“get the fuck off me!” you screamed, landing a kick to his face. you heard his glasses crack and he fell backwards. fueled on adrenaline, you got up quickly and latched onto the doorknob. 

it was locked. 

tsukishima kicked you in the middle of your back, sending your face straight into the door and sliding down to the floor again. he grabbed your ankles and dragged you towards him, sitting on top of you and gripping your hair so hard you thought he’d pull it out.

“i love you so much, and this is what you do to me?” he yelled into your ear, pulling your head to face him. his eyes were wide and pupils blown out, a crazed look to his usual nonchalant and neutral expression. he was genuinely crazy; he was upset that you were fighting back.

he slammed your head back into the floor, you would’ve felt lucky that it was carpet but it didn’t do anything to soften the blows. he repeated the action until you stopped screaming, reduced to sniveling and licking up the blood that came from your nose.

he huffed, undoing his jeans and pulling them down. 

“this is what you deserve,” he said as he pulled down your panties, kneading your ass before sliding a thumb down your slit. if he was expecting you to be wet, he was surely mistaken. “is this piss?”

you prayed that it would turn him off, that somehow this terrible situation would get better.

“ah, i guess it’s f-fine... i’ll take you however you are, my y/n...” he laughed through his teeth, and you let out a defeated whine. he pressed the tip of his dick awkwardly against everywhere except your entrance, forced to sit through the torture of him trying to find the right hole. you wished you could just get it over with and guide his hand, but the broken glass digging into your skin didn’t allow you to.

“t-there we go...” tsukishima finally sighed, and you could feel the bile burning your throat. he pushed deeper into you, the only bit of lubrication from you pissing yourself, even though it wouldn’t be nearly enough. you dug your nails into your palm, clawed at the ground, inflicting any damage to yourself to try and distract from the burning tear ripping through your insides.

“you're bleeding,” tsukishima groaned, bottoming out inside you. he whispered things, you didn’t know whether if they were to himself or for you to hear. you didn’t care, feeling your eyes getting heavier and body numb. he thrusted shallowly into you, rubbing your bare body against the carpet. he pressed himself against your back, his weight heavy against your smaller form. 

“hey, don’t pass out on me!” he smacked your cheek, making you blink your eyes open and gasp. he fucked you awkwardly and solely for his own pleasure- you doubted that he knew how to please a woman. not that you wanted to be pleased in this moment.

you closed your eyes again, trying to imagine a more favorable scenario. you were interested in tsukishima, he was smart but he seemed shy. you just wanted to be friends with him, that’s all you wanted. why was this happening to you? you did everything right- good grades, good person, never did anything illegal or wanted to. 

“i love you, i love you, have my fucking kid-“

your eyes shot open wide, finding the strength to reach behind you and push against his body.

“no, no you can’t.” you rasped, grimacing as you saw his red face and blissful expression.

“i-i love you,” he kissed your neck, cumming inside you. your wail was near silent, only a broken noise emitting from your throat. he grunted in your ear as he finally finished his load, stilling inside you. “you love me too, right?” he whispered, caressing your sweaty forehead.

you didn’t say anything, staring at the wall.

he pulled out and flipped you over, cum spilling out your violated hole. he caught his breath in pants of air, taking off his hoodie as quick as he could. he grabbed you by your jaw again, another disgusting kiss to your mouth. he sucked on your lower lip, running his hands down your sides.

“it’s alright, i know you love me. you don’t have to say it.” he looked down at you lovingly, so lovingly. he entered you again, making you retch. he held you by the back of your knees, watching your tits jiggle with each thrust of his hips, grinning wide like a little kid who just got a bunch of toys. 

he wiped away the blood from your face, licking it up when his fingers couldn’t do the trick. you groaned in disgust, his slimy tongue traveling across your face. he left marks and bites all over your body, pulling out his phone occasionally to take pictures of you.

oh how he loved you, loved how submissive you were for him. you were the perfect woman, just wait till he tells yamaguchi about his score. he was so lucky to have you, bringing this light into his life.

he came again inside of you, savoring your fucked out expression. had he really made you feel so good his first time? you were amazing too- nice and tight and willing to do any position he wanted.

“hey,” he smacked your face again, but this time it only lolled to the side. your eyes were glossed over and drool was coming out the side of your mouth. he got hard again.

you wouldn’t mind if he continued while you were asleep, right? of course you wouldn’t- you loved each other. of course you would let him satisfy himself to his fullest.

he came another three times that night, breaking his record. he took pictures of your puffy, cum-stuffed pussy, for keepsake. he would cherish this moment forever, he couldn’t wait to be with you for the rest of his life.


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you awake from a nightmare

tsukishima stood over your limp body, sipping on a juice box. he was waiting for you to wake up, it’s been a while, he wants to get you in the bath properly and check how your feeling. he could only dress the wound on your head so much with his little medical knowledge, and he didn’t want to go to the hospital.

he scratched at the skin around his fingers. no matter how many times he washed his hands, they were still caked in blood. he had a scratch on the bridge of his nose where you hit him, and his glasses were snapped in half. 

_you hate me, you hate me now. after what i’ve done? you’re gonna hate me when you wake up, i know it. but i really like you i like you a lot. i raped her i hurt her what is wrong with me? i should just kill you now. no i can’t i can’t do that. what am i gonna do?_

tsukishima crouched down next to you, gripping his short blonde hair with his hands. this was too much for him to handle, this isn’t what he wanted to happen. he didn’t want to kill you!

he scrambled for his phone, breathing heavily.

“y-yamaguchi! i need your help,” tsukishima clutched his shirt tightly, trying to take deep breaths.

“yea, what’s up?” yamaguchi said through a mouthful of food.

“um, um- i had sex and-“

“sex?!” yamaguchi screamed like a girl. “with who? when?”

“y/n but that’s not the-“

“fucking score, man! should i come over?”

“no!” tsukishima shouted, gripping the phone tighter. he wouldn’t allow anyone to see you like this- naked and vulnerable. that was only for him. “i just need help, over the phone.”

“alright, you’ve come to the right guy.” yamaguchi chuckled, and tsukishima could imagine the thumbs up he held up.

“she’s like, passed out and bleeding. there’s blood all over my carpet and she hasn’t woke up in an hour and when she does she’s gonna think that i did something to her-“

“hey, calm down tsuki! why are you so worried? i thought that was your whole thing?”

tsukishima rubbed his eyes hard, furrowing his eyebrows. “it’s different this time, yamaguchi. i don’t want her to die, so what should i do?”

yamaguchi hummed, then gasped. “let me come over!”

“NO!” tsukishima yelled directly into the microphone of his phone, ready to hang up.

“i don’t want to see her mangled corpse-“

“s-shes not dead!”

“yeah yeah. but i know where she lives. we clean her up, take her back home, give her a special something my uncle has, and boom! she doesn’t know what happened.”

“that’s a terrible idea...”

“well, it’s something. enough to satiate your thoughts?”

tsukishima sighed in defeat, agreeing. something to ease his mind, that’s all.

when yamaguchi got there, he was too eager to run upstairs to see you, but tsukishima covered you up properly and already cleaned up any fluids.

“woah, this is so sick, tsuki!” he snorted, nudging you with his foot. “you think she’s gonna have some kinda crazy mental disorder after this?”

“shut the fuck up yamaguchi.” tsukishima’s eyes were wide, and he saw his hands wringing around his best friends neck.

the acne-riddled boy only laughed again, picking you up by your shoulders. he motioned to your legs, and tsukishima went over and picked you up.

“smells fuckin’ gross in here, like... pee,” yamaguchi made a face, as if he had any room to judge. “you’re gonna a need a deep cleaner and a hell lot of bleach, tsuki.” 

tsukishima rolled his eyes, carefully carrying you down the stairs. he rubbed your ankles gently, trying to reassure you even in your sleep, everything would be okay. you wouldn’t remember a thing.

he wanted you to remember though, maybe you had a noncon fetish and you actually really liked it last night. a lot of people had that, yeah, you probably had that. he won’t judge you.

the rest of the plan went smoothly- yamaguchi knew exactly where you lived and that your parents weren’t home.

“she only lives with her mom, and she works the night shift.” yamaguchi explained, digging through your bag for a key to the house. “i think it’s even safe enough to say she has daddy issues!”

“you did a lot of research, huh? creep, now hurry up. someone will see us.” tsukishima whispered, and yamaguchi just mocked his nagging. he found the key and unlocked the front door quickly, the three of you hurriedly rushing inside. 

“where’s her room, since you know everything?”

“over here,” yamaguchi motioned tsukishima to follow him. he had a purely shocked faced, and yamaguchi already knew what he was gonna ask. “i’ve come by before, alright? seen her in the window. now come on!”

he lowered his head, hiking you up on his back to quietly walk to your room. why would yamaguchi be stalking whats his, what a fucking creep. they were in the kitchen right now, he could take that knife glittering in the moonlight on the counter and run it into his back. back-stabbed, what a perfectly fitting demise for yamaguchi. 

he cleared his head once they reached your room, taking in the wonderful scenery. it was like heaven, his own personal heaven. you had posters and items that pertained to all your interest, your favorite colors accenting the room, clothes scattered across the room. you had been here hours before, trying to figure out what to wear just for him. he could take you right now if it wasn’t for yamaguchi next to him.

“alright, let’s put her on the bed for now, and hope that things go smooth.” yamaguchi pulled back your blanket and pat the bed. that wasn’t his to be touching, but tsukishima could forgive him just this once.

“ooh, maybe we should take some of her panties! you think she’d notice?”

“yamaguchi, stop.” tsukishima said lowly, clutching your thighs tighter when he felt you slipping. “don’t take anything-“

he nearly dropped you when he heard your shrill scream, arms squeezing around his neck like a vice and thrashing around. you finally woke up, and it was the worst timing.

you squeezed his throat tighter and tighter, wrapping yourself around him so you wouldn’t drop. yamaguchi went behind his friend, and grabbed you by your hair.

“relax,” he cooed, and you did. tsukishima was enraged, why were you so easily compelled by him? did you even know who he was? he let go of you, turning his head. yamaguchi had a pocket knife against your throat, guiding you to your bed.

oh. that’s why.

“w-whats going on- you!” you curled up on your bed, pointing to tsukishima. “y-you r-raped me, attacked me! i’ll go to the cops, i’ll get a rape kit and-“

“i-i didn’t rape you...” tsukishima’s hands started to shake again, you really hated him. but you were wrong, you wanted it too, there was no possibly way you didn’t want to!

“what he means to say that if you tell the police- or anyone for that matter- all your pictures and information will be leaked, everywhere!” yamaguchi pointed his knife back to you.

“w-what? what pictures-“

yamaguchi nudged his friend, and he took out his phone. he told yamaguchi to not look. he showed you the hundreds of photos of your violated body, watching your face contort into horror. 

“so what would you rather, go through the process of filing a report and fighting the court system or have every single person in school and millions of people across the world see your body? and with your address leaked, anyone could come in here and do what they want with you!” yamaguchi grinned. he was having fun, finally being the one with power in the situation. all those years of being bullied and belittled, it was finally time for him to threaten someone else’s life. it was so fucking fun.

you were visibly shaking in your spot on the bed, clearly weighing your options in your head. you were breathing quickly, looking in between the two males in front of your bed. one had assaulted you and the other had a knife. 

“stop yamaguchi, you’re scaring her.” tsukishima said softly, leaning over the bed and wrapping your arms around you. 

“ugh,” he heard you sob, arms rigid against your sides. you weren’t pushing him away, so it was fine, right? he smiled into your shoulder, you were slowly forgiving him. this was amazing. 

“here, take this. for the pain.” yamaguchi handed you a pill, apologizing for the lack of water. you reached out a hand and took it, swallowing the pill dry. it would take a few moments for the effect to activate.

tsukishima sighed, stepping back and letting you fall back down into the bed. he was disappointed that you so easily took a pill from a strange man, but it was apart of his plan after all.

the two friends took their leave, yamaguchi pestering the taller male for the pictures.

“if you don’t want to end up in a ditch tonight you’ll drop it.” tsukishima groaned as they hopped into the small car yamaguchi drove over. it was his uncles car, so even if the car got caught it wouldn’t be traced to them.

the next day at school, you trudged into class with a mean limp. tsukishima smirked under his hands, watching you slowly make your way to your desk and put your head down. he did the liberty of changing up some messages on your phone so you wouldn’t see that you two were planned to meet up. he saw you searching something up under your desk.

something about your period coming early and very heavy, which then led you to rape symptoms, which then led you to date rape drug effects. 

he smiled, you were so smart. his smart girl. he felt a shiver run down his spine. all his anxieties from last night were alleviated, seeing you come in genuinely confused and recovering. he had to remember who he was, he was just some weird fucking nerd who was apart of an incel board online. he browsed the dark web, he watched the most disgusting things, he was devoted to ruining the lives of women around him.

he was a depraved freak who violated you last night. 

he adjusted his headphones on his ears when you curled into yourself and laid your head on your bag to sleep during class. that wasn’t what a star student was supposed to be doing, but you had a hard night last night. he listened to the recording of your crying and screaming, reliving the moment. he really needed to stop getting himself hard during school.

“t-tsukishima, can i talk to you?” you pulled on his sleeve right when class was dismissed. he stilled, then turned to you.

“what is it?” he had to be calm and collected.

“um, i think something really bad happened to me last night, and i was just wondering if you could help me?”

“something bad? what do you mean?” tsukishima gasped, raising his eyebrows.

“i-it’s a bit...” you held your arms together against your body. your hair wasn’t neat and put together like usual, your clothes were wrinkled and the buttons on your shirt weren’t properly buttoned. your skirt was pulled lower than usual and you had pure black leggings underneath. aww, what happened to your tights?

“it’s alright, you can tell me.” he sat at an empty desk, and you sat across from him, a warm yet weak smile on your lips. your lower lip had a small cut on it. you lifted up your hair, showing the bandages on the side of your bruised head. you had little scabs across your temples and cheeks.

you started to cry.

“w-when i woke up, i saw this on my face and my...”

“oh no, y/n...” he whispered, softening his face.

“my underwear was b-bloody,” you lowered your voice significantly, there was no need to be so embarrassed! “i think i was drugged and then assaulted last night... so i’m asking you, would you know if i went after school anywhere?”

“you poor thing, how did you even come to school in that state?” tsukishima cooed, placing a shaky hand on top of yours, squeezing.

“i-i don’t know, but...” 

“but?”

you were staring down at your hands, entwined together with his own. his skin was much paler than yours, blue and purple veins branching out from his wrist. 

“t-tsukishima, you bite your fingers?” your mouth twitched, lifting one his digits and brushing his knuckles.

“ah, just a bad habit i have.” he caressed your pinky with his thumb. his hands were so much bigger than yours, it was adorable.

“w-why do you have bandaids on your fingers?” 

“volleyball. i’m a middle blocker, remember?” he leaned forward a bit, taking his other hand and holding your hands together.

“s-so why is there blood in your nails?” you grimaced, hands shaking in his hold. you lifted your gaze to meet his, and tsukishima smiled. he smiled wide and proud, you were such a smart girl! you weren’t like other girls at all. he just couldn’t seem to wash out all the blood, but it was a memento of what happened, so he didn’t mind.

“have you figured it out already?” he squeezed tighter. “or do you still need my help to find out who hurt you?”

“please... let me go.” you whimpered, trying to pull away from him.

“we have hour classes today, and next period is a free period, meaning we have two hours together, y/n. how much information do you think we can gather in two hours?”

“please, tsukishima.”

“you can call me kei.” he pulled you closer. you shook your head, pleading for him to release you.

“i’ll scream.” you didn’t sound confident, and your throat was already raw from last night. you both knew that. tsukishima flicked open his phone, showing the vile pictures to you once more (even if you didn’t remember the first time)

your face visibly paled, tsukishima letting go of you. yet you stilled- didn’t get up to run away, didn’t scream for help, you didn’t move. just watched him scroll through his photo gallery, blinking away tears. you felt sick to your stomach, that was you. your face was in nearly every photo, every video, it was your voice (crying) in the audios. he mentioned occasionally which one was his favorite.

you lowered your head down, hair falling past your face along with the tears, dripping onto your lap. tsukishima laughed, you've never heard him laugh. even though it was your goal, get tsukishima kei to laugh, this wasn’t how you imagined it. he was laughing at your despair, laughing in your face about being your assaulter. the pain you awoke to was because of him, the permanent mental scars are from him.

and he laughed at you.

“i want to try something,” he declared, taking your defeated body and pulling it to the floor. “i’ve never had someone suck me off, you know how to do it?”

you stared at the floor blankly, letting him hold your wrists and place your hands on his thighs. you sat on your scarred and bruised knees, where did everything go so wrong?

“up here,” tsukishima growled. he was standing at full height, tugging you by the hand to look up at him. he pulled down his pants, glancing to the classroom door for a second. his dick was straining against his boxers.

“please.” you closed your eyes, holding his hand in a final plea of desperation. you prayed to any god that would listen, any higher being that could miraculously take you out of the class and somewhere else. your hopes and dreams shattered when he smacked your cheek with his cock, smearing precum on your cheek.

“open up.” your head buzzed, that was familiar for some reason. you tried to remember why, but it was only a blur. tsukishima brushes a thumb against your lip, tilting his head and rubbing himself against your face. you felt your tongue throb, there were scratches on your tongue when you inspected yourself this morning.

tears slipped down your cheeks as you opened your mouth, the dull ache in your jaw intensifying. he smiled, petting your messy hair as he slid onto your tongue. you wanted to throw up.

tsukishima moaned, gripping your hair with the hand that was just caressing you. he rolled his hips until the tip of his dick hit the back of your throat, making the urge to throw up even worse. he snapped his hips back, then thrusted back in.

you gagged and choked as he aimlessly fucked your throat, digging your nails into his legs. lewd squelching noises filled the room, your air supply shortening every second. he groaned, bending his knees and pressing your face into his crotch. he was already done, it somehow relieved you. 

short lived. he moved your head back and forth forcefully as he rode out his orgasm. when he was finally done, he sat back in his seat and caught his breath. his hand was still wrapped tightly in your hair, pulling you close to him.

“swallow.”

you grimaced as you let it sit on your tongue, shoulders twitching forward. he pulled your hair harder, resting on his thigh, knee pressing against your throat. the muscles in your throat closed in, the thick, gross cum sliding down your esophagus.

you heaved, parting your lips to prove you did what he asked. you didn’t know why.

“i-i’m gonna be sick.” you admitted softly, rubbing your tears on the males pants.

“if you throw up, you’re gonna have to clean it up.” he cooed. your heart hammered in your chest, his cruel words making your body run cold. you sobbed, sniffing up the wet snot coming out your nose. 

tsukishima pulled you up to sit in his lap, cock pressing against your leg. he got hard again.

“come on y/n, we still have a little over an hour. think you can handle it?” he chuckled, rubbing your back and slowly inching up your school sweater. his fingers dipped under the waistband of your skirt. you pressed your forehead against his shoulder, shoulders bouncing as you cried.

he kissed whatever he could reach- your neck, shoulder, arms, even placed a kiss on your cheek when he pushed some of your hair behind your ear.

“i love you, y/n.” 

you retched forward with the urge to throw up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg shocked emoji should i continue y’all idk how long i can last
> 
> also sorry if it didn’t make sense?? or seemed unrealistic but idk i didn’t want reader to stay in his house and i wanted to bring back yamaguchi lol


	3. alternate chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> last chapter didn’t really sit right with me
> 
> also this was totally meant to be a oneshot but who knows i might just make this a bunch of gross shit
> 
> warning for self harm but i mean ur already reading a rape fic

tsukishima stood over your unmoving body, watching with wide, keen eyes for any sign of movement. you had been out of it for an hour now, he even managed to clean you up and treat your wounds as best he could. it was fucking disgusting what little shards of glass could do.

he crouched down, running his fingers through your tousled hair. you were so cute, maybe even beautiful, maybe even godly. 

_push your hand as hard as you can into her face_

he bit his lip.

 _better yet, slit your fucking wrists._

he eyed the pile of glass he had to scoop up with a folder. his fingers scratched at his arms, red streaking his pale skin. he used to cut when he was younger, he saw it everywhere online and his brother got him started on it. he grew out of it after a while, but some of the scars haven’t faded.

tsukishima was violently shook out his thoughts when your hand twitched, body rolling to the side. you groaned, you were still alive. he watched you slowly came to, aching body and a searing pain in your stomach and hips- everywhere. your fingers tapped the side of your head, looking at your bloodied fingers.

your eyes slowly, ever so slowly, focused on the tall form looming over your body. your head shook from how hard you were clenching your jaw, the muscles under your eye twitching.

not a word was said, dread slowly filling into your flipping stomach. it shot up your throat and you started to breathe quicker and heavier, grimacing as you sniffed. dry blood caked your nostrils, eyes puffy and stinging. tears should’ve been forming in your dry eyes, but they didn’t. 

your joints cracked when you brought them up to shield your face, the male bent his knees and crouched down next to you. the scream that tore through your throat was made from the raw fear of him- what he would do now that he was close again.

“no, no!” you sobbed, a tender hand holding your shoulder. 

“you have to be quiet.” he shushed you.

“stop!” you shrieked, pulling away from him. he didn’t seem to like that.

tsukishima roughly pulled you to your back by your shoulder, pinning you down with one hand. his ideas were running through his head a hundred miles an hour, but he couldn’t fucking focus over your crying and screaming. you were being too loud, too loud.

he gently pushed your hands away from your pretty blood soaked face, a faint smile pulling at the corners of his lips. you cracked open your eyes, his fist shadowed by dim light behind him.

tsukishima drove his fist into your nose, body jerking and writhing as needles of pain shot through your face. you screamed, and he punched you again. and again. and again.

_knock her fucking teeth out_

he swung a leg over your waist, straddling you. the increased weight on your abdomen lurched you forward like a punch to your gut, only to be pushed back by another punch to the side of your face.

“shut up,” tsukishima flinched when blood splattered onto his tight fist, stopping to rub it into his skin.

“i’m sorry,” you tried to cry quieter, hissing through your teeth. he hit you in the eye and in the nose, and it fucking hurt. everything hurt, why was this happening? you moaned in agony as he pinched your nose with his left hand, closely inspecting his other hand. even though they were both covered in blood, this was fresh blood. most of the previous gore had dried or been wiped away elsewhere. this was bright and fresh to the air, again. you had so much blood for him.

tsukishima pressed his tongue flat against his knuckles, lashes fluttering closed as he tasted you. he let your nose go, blood gushing from your nostrils. hands caressed the sides of your head, leaning down to drink directly from your nose. you wriggled under him, pushing against his legs, disgusted by the feeling. 

stop being a bitch, he already did the same shit before.

“more,” he licked his lips when he sat up, rubbing your bruised lips with a thumb. 

“w-what?” you croaked out, unsure if you should speak. your head was pummeled again, this time aimed to your mouth. you were extremely upset that he didn’t snap your neck, face firmly pressed against the ground. he struck you again, over and over again while alternating hands.

“left, right, right, right, left,” was he playing a game with your face? it went on a bit longer, and he finally paused. your lungs filled with as much air as you could, nose clogged. “your teeth must be really strong.” 

you prepared for the next impact, catching a glimpse of his arm swinging behind him. he brought his fist down again, but this time it wasn’t his knuckles. he was full force smashing your face with the flat of his hand, you didn’t even know what to call it.

it only took a few hits for something to please him, holding your head still and prying your mouth open. his tongue wriggled into your mouth, sucking at your gums and lapping at your tongue. you laid in your own blood and sweat, you couldn’t even make noise anymore. tsukishima got off you wordlessly, pacing around you. his nails dug into his scalp, licking his lips over and over again. and you lay there.

you lay there when he dragged a piece of glass across your wrist, because you had to match his arm; pressing it against his open wound and rubbing the blood into each other. 

you lay there as he cut words into your stomach, watching your muscles helplessly spasm even though you couldn’t move. your body’s natural reactions were fascinating.

you laid there. you lay there as he did what he wanted to do. no amount of wishing, hoping, or praying could do anything. you did have a lot of blood, you weren’t dead yet.

you lay in the bath, red water darkening as tsukishima washed out your hair, soap stinging every wound on your flesh. 

you lay in his bed with your distant expression as he plays video games and invites his weird friend over to inspect you like you were on display. he always said to not touch you, but you caught that look in his eyes. every beg yamaguchi spewed tsukishima got a little softer. one day he would give in to the fantasy.

you pull up your shirt, the name etched into your skin was healing... fine.

you lay next to him, staring as he slept soundly with you in his arms, like he always dreamed of. you wanted to stick your fingers into his eyes and drag your nails so they dug into his sockets. you wanted to bite his dick as hard as you could with your sharpest teeth when he stuffed it into your mouth. you wanted to-

“you should get some sleep.”

you shut your eyes closed, holding your breath. you scratched at the scabs littering your arms, awaiting another dreamless night.

you wanted to go back to school. 

but you lay there, even when he encourages you to get dressed and come with him so he can announce to his team that he has a cute little girlfriend. 

you don’t even look for an escape, you live in the dimensions of that room. the stain is still in the carpet next to the door, an image that burned a memory into your brain. 

you smile for him when he brings your favorite food up, even if you throw it up before it can even digest. he doesn’t mind, drumming his fingers on your ribs later.

you sleep soundly in his arms, knowing that he loves you the most. do you love him too?


End file.
